Heart theory: stone, cotton and time-discrete

You know a stone? It’s totally hard and firm. That’s what our heart is. And cotton? So soft, fluffy and white. That’s what our heart is as well. In certain discrete time-frame.

I learned new thing again yesterday. My friend randomly invited me to join Islamic Study (Kajian Islam) yesterday at Masjid Al Azhar, not too far from my office in fact. But due to my heart is still in firm condition, I refused his invitation. “C’mon I was so tired after office and it was so lazy to burden my mind again with such thing”, that was my thought at that time.

Flashback in past, there were some moments that I was truly enthusiast to join islamic study, mentoring, or kind like those things, even the place were so far from mine, even my mind was still full of stressful stuffs and even the weather is in super hot and rain condition. “I need to recover my tiring mind out of these perishable things and I’d love to join it”, that was my thought at that time.

See my point?

Well that our heart is. Unstable and full of uncertainties. Therefore

“In term of asking someone to do something, if the time is not right, it’s improbable”

We cannot force someone to do something we want arbitrarily. Well I use a word “Improbable” which means almost never happen (let’s say 90%), not “Impossible” which 100% never happen. In certain condition we could, but it’s extremely rare.

Because heart is something we are not able to touch. Heart is the business between only the creature and its Creator. We cannot interfere with that.

The changes in our heart is likely framed at the discrete-time coordinate. It’s digital and be able to change drastically between one signal to another.

So we cannot guess the heart of someone by looking at the signs, omens or indication in the every time like continuous one has (left graph), but only in some sampling times. Let me try to explain as simple as possible.

  1. Heart of someone x(t) changes through time (t) in the continuous left-graph. Only s/he knows what happen to his/her heart through time, and indeed with his/her Creator.
  2. We see someone’s heart x[n] just in sampling time [n], not in continuous one (t), because we cannot follow his/her activities everyday like a squire. Therefore if we see someone at x[1] = in the morning, then we see him/her again at x[2] = in the night, and he/she changes drastically, it’s normal, because its just sampling time at n=1 and n=2. Those in between x[1] and x[2] which is in the afternoon, we aren’t able to know.

Okay, I wish you got my point, lol. And anyway it’s just what so-called match-ology, don’t take it so serious. The simple conclusion of that above complicated theory is

“Heart is a business between people and the Creator, and it is possible to change unpredictably through time, like sometimes it could be hard like a stone or soft like a cotton”

But what are the applications of this random heart-hypothetical-theory? Let’s see:

Relationship within family

All family members must understand this theory so that each of them will understand one to another.

For example a husband who found his wife changes suddenly after he came back from the office, then it’s normal. Don’t be so shock. Because heart is able to change even for no reason.Therefore the husband has to realize he has to be more patient than before and wait for the right time to talk. And it’s vice versa for the wife too.

The parents also have to realize the children’s heart are able to change unpredictably as well. Therefore it needs more understanding and patient to face them. Sometimes strict action is needed, otherwise smooth action might be the best one. Well there is no formula and exact theory related to this, you have to learn directly and with the hindsight.

Time spending within family

Discrete time signal is able to become similar to continuous one by using as many as samples [n] possible or if the sampling time is near to infinite.

Therefore in order to know someone’s heart more accurately, we have to spend as much time as possible with him/her, or in this case with our family. Especially for the parents to their children, time is the most precious thing they can give more than anything at all.

Da’wah

Like things I mentioned before in the second and third paragraph, heart or in this case iman is up and down through time. We as a d’ai (someone who do da’wah, or someone who ask people for good things) must also know this theory that the heart is always changing.

For example today we ask our friend to do prayer at Masjid and he refused, that means at that time his heart is still in stone phase. What we have to do is don’t get bored to ask them, but also not in rapid repetition. Wait for the time, and ask him again slowly. There should be a time his heart becomes like a cotton and he will join us to go to the mosque. Those are also valid for such asking to join ta’lim, fasting, mentoring, etc.

Soulmate Hunting

And last but not least, maybe the foremost one, this theory is also applicable for soulmate hunting. Lol.

The heart of a man or woman is able to change. Therefore there was a proverb that never give up before get rejected 21 times. Okay it’s a bit exaggerated. The point is according to the theory, the heart of someone is able to change through time and we’re not able to guess it.

Always count the variables change. In this case the variable heart and time is not our authority to control. We need an exact right time and an exact right heart in the corresponding exact moment, and He is the only one who knows it.

Therefore the main thing in soulmate hunting, is we always ask for the Owner of the Heart to give us the best soulmate in the future.

—-

Heart is complex. Never ever try to play with it. It’s also totally fragile. We have to be careful with our heart and other people’s. Hidayah is also the only authority of Allah, we impossibly interfere with that. But we have a chance to be a bridge to give it to the other people.

Be patient and always think from the other people’s shoes. Never presume that they are in the same condition with us. Because by respecting one to another is the only way we could live in harmony.[]

Ignition and Mindset

Exactly minggu kemarin, I spent my weekend to join the ignition of 1000startup digital di kampus Universitas Trisakti Jakarta. First time to come to this campus too anyway, dan it’s totally worth it.

Acara ini diinisiasi oleh Kibar, dan sebenarnya saya dulu ketika tingkat akhir di kampus, juga sempat mengikuti mata kuliah “Technology Based Business” di SBM ITB, which is also the initiation from Kibar as well and the first course opened about startup in campus in Indonesia. Cool isn’t it!

—-

To the point. Acara ignition ini diisi dengan dengan 5 panel discussions dengan topik berbeda-beda, dengan tujuan membentuk pola pikir tentang membangun sebuah startup itu sendiri.

Yap emphasize once more “membangun pola pikir” adalah hal utama yang perlu dikuatkan before we create a startup.

How should I begin? What to do? What do I need? What is the vision I should create?

Adalah pertanyaan utama kebanyakan orang ketika ingin membangun sebuah startup, and all of them are answered through these 5 panel discussions.

Find a Problem and Solve it!

I think that’s the first and foremost main point yang perlu ditanam di alam bawah sadar oleh para calon founder.

Creating a startup is not about starting a business and get the profit, but instead it’s all about how could we solve people problem and create a value out of this

Dan to be honest itu sejalan dengan salah satu visi hidup yang ingin saya capai which is bermanfaat untuk orang lain. I wish I could really be able to contribute something to people and according to my background, my present and my dreams I have a chance to choose this startup way to achieve that long term life-goal.

A Strong Reason and Persistent

That the second main point I got by hearing the panel discussions. Setiap pembicara memiliki their own story, dan jangan berharap startup story mereka seperti yang tertulis di cerita-cerita Disney which almost all of them has a happy life with a happy ending ever-after.

Alasan kita harus kuat sebelum membangun startup agar tercipta persistensi yang besar ketika menjalankannya

If it is just for money only, or so that we could have happy weekend in our every weekday, it’s better to stop dreaming to enter the startup life. You will directly get depressed and give up in a glance. We need to be persistent and ready to ‘gamble’ our life with hundreds of challenges and problems everyday waiting to be solved

Collaboration and Vision

Trust me (dari para pembicara), they won’t be able to create a big impact to society if they created those startups ALONE apalagi tanpa visi yang besar. That’s the third main point of this ignition phase.

You DO need to collaborate, therefore you need a co-founder

Saya pribadi dulu waktu di kampus pernah iseng nyobain buka bisnis sendiri, and I really felt how depressed I am to initiate and create a sustainable one. Because I didn’t have support from anyone, terutama ketika diri sudah merasakan putus asa dan enggan untuk terus maju. Persistensi tadi dapat dibangun dengan kolaborasi. Dan dengan kolaborasi we are also able to have a big vision in the future, so we always have a strong reason to keep moving forward since we have a big meaningful vision to achieve together.

Idea is Cheap but Execution is Expensive

Well, one for all, teori di atas hanyalah sebatas teori dan semuanya klise dan normatif jika tidak diikuti dengan AKSI yang nyata. Oke ini sebenernya juga rada JLEB ke saya sih.

Startup is not about idea, startup is about execution

Semua pembicara di atas, ga akan jadi seperti sekarang tanpa keberanian eksekusi. Mau sebagus apapun ide kita tanpa eksekusi yang nyata, ga akan jadi apa-apa. Ide yang biasa tapi diiringi dengan eksekusi yang kongkrit bisa terus melakukan recursive improvement dan in the end berdampak untuk banyak orang.

So let’s just do it!

Percikan Inspirasi

Pagi ini untuk kesekian kalinya terinspirasi, merinding membaca seorang muslim yang humble, low profile namun berhasil membuktikan dirinya dalam percikan kontribusi untuk Indonesia.

postcard-61

Ya dia lah sosok menteri ESDM baru Dr. Arcandra Tahar. Benar-benar terharu membaca profile nya dari tulisan ini:

Menteri ESDM, Arcandra Tahar, Guru Ngaji yang Pakar Offshore

Seorang alumni mesin ITB ’89 yang melanjutkan studinya ke negeri Paman Sam, menjadi peneliti hingga professional yang mengaplikasikan ilmunya untuk banyak orang. Well saya ga begitu mengerti in detail what he has done terkait offshore but I’m totally sure it’s something big and has a great impact.

Yang paling membuat rasa inspirasi ini membuncah adalah kutipan-kutipan kalimat berikut:

“Keseharian selama kami mengenal beliau di Houston, beliau sosok Islam yang taat, family man,kata Ira

Ayah 2 anak ini adalah pendiri Indonesian Family Academy, lembaga yang setiap hari Sabtu mengajarkan anak-anak secara sukarela membaca Alquran dan kajian tentang Islam.

“Ia turun tangan langsung bersama istrinya memberikan pelajaran Alquran dan Agama Islam,” ujar teman dekat Arcanda pada GATRAnews.

MasyaAllah. Such a total inspiration this morning. Dunia dan akhirat.

Benar-benar menjadi suntikan motivasi untuk bagaimana menjadi seorang muslim yang tidak hanya mengejar akhirat tapi juga dunia. Wait? Sebenarnya kata-kata itu rada tricky, semoga tidak salah menangkap. Mengapa akhirat disebut dahulu? Terkesan seperti dunia lebih utama dari akhirat?

Karena niche market yang saya maksud untuk tulisan ini adalah mereka yang sudah mematok akhirat dititik tertinggi. Tidak akan bisa bergeser oleh apapun yang berbau dunia. TAPI, tetap harus memiliki tujuan dunia di bawahnya, dan linear dengan dengan titik tertinggi akhirat tadi.

Pak  Arcandra, tetap menjujung tinggi islam, prinsip tertinggi dalam hidupnya, namun juga bisa berbuat sesuatu di dunia. Menginspirasi dunia dengan what he has done bukan who he is. Meskipun pada akhirnya dunia juga akan terkena percikan inspirasi, mengenal dari siapa dirinya yaitu seorang muslim.

Teringat dulu kata-kata seorang mentor dulu saat mentoring di salman. Sebagai alumni ITB kita tidak dituntut untuk menjadi seorang ustad dalam ilmu islam, I mean ustad-ustad yang literally biasa kita kenal. Meskipun ilmu islam wajib juga dipelajari. Tapi justru kita dituntut untuk menjadi engineer ataupun perekayasa dalam ilmu jurusan yang kita pelajari, dan mencari ranah kontribusi di sana, dengan tetap mutlak jati diri muslim melekat kuat di dalam hati. 

Ustad dalam ilmu islam ibaratnya menjadi “side-job” dari alumni ITB. Seperti yang dilakukan oleh Pak Arcandra ini. Beliau job utamanya sebagai engineer perminyakan, namun di sela-sela waktunya tetap mengajarkan Al-Quran dan juga ilmu-ilmu islam pada orang-orang disekitarnya.

Sebagai penutup saya hanya ingin berdoa. Ya Allah, mampukanlah saya dan juga pemuda muslim lainnya untuk bisa mengikuti jejak beliau. Aamiin.[]

Syukur atas musibah

Salah satu pelarian terhadap masalah: menulis. Arghh ingin rasanya beli sandbag tinju dan memukul selepas-lepasnya. Ada yg tau sewa di Jakarta di mana?

Yah tapi semoga bisa terlampiaskan dengan tulisan ini.

Sabar.

Jelas adalah hal yang mutlak dilakukan ketika diri mendapat musibah, kesakitan, kegagalan, kepedihan, dan permasalahan fisik maupun batin lainnya.

Tapi saya menyadarinya kali ini.

Syukur.

Juga adalah hal yang patut kita panjatkan ketika diri terpuruk dalam jurang keputus-asaan.

Mengapa?

Karena disanalah titik air mata murni kita keluar karena-Nya.

Ada yg bilang jangan mulai sholeh dan banyak doa ketika sakit saja. Lah tapi mau gimana lagi, kalo sakit ga doa, ga mengharap kepadaNya, mau dengan siapa lagi kita mengadu?

Justru dititik inilah kita patut bersyukur, Allah memberikan momen keputus-asaan, agar kita menangis, semenangis-menangisnya, karena Dia. Karena sadar diri ini sangat lemah dan tiada daya upaya juga kekuatan melainkan dariNya.

Titik inilah justru menjadi batu loncatan untuk menaikan iman kita. Kapan lagi coba bisa menangis air mata karena merasa ingin dekat denganNya. Merasa diriNya hadir dihadapan kita. Mengusap tangisan kita. Dan berjanji akan mengganti dengan jalan yang terbaik dariNya di masa depan.

Bersyukur lah atas musibah. Tanpa itu kita tidak akan bisa merasakan tangisan kebahagiaan, puncak pengharapan, mengharap belas kasihan dan pertolongan dariNya.

Tanpa itu terkadang kita akan sulit, bangun tengah malam, di tengah keheningan, menyandarkan dahi pada tempat terendah dan menangis sederas-derasnya. Tangisan murni dalam dekap pelukan diriNya. Tangisan jernih yang mengalahkan beningnya kaca, intan dan juga berlian.[]

Pengharapan

Ketika hatimu terlalu berharap kepada seseorang maka Allah timpakan ke atas kamu pedihnya sebuah pengharapan, supaya kamu mengetahui bahwa Allah sangat mencemburui hati yg berharap selain Dia. Maka Allah menghalangimu dari perkara tersebut agar kamu kembali berharap kepada-Nya

-Imam Syafi’i

Sepatu

Ayu: Before the answer, could I know… why me?

Cakra: It’s because… your shoes

Jeng jeng. Took my sweater hoodie up. Then truly shedding tears.

Dua penggal percakapan di atas adalah adegan super favorit gw di film Sabtu bersama bapak, yang ga diceritain di buku (Atau ada ya(?), lupa udah lama baca buku nya). Tapi serius itu scene keren pisann. Gw sampe nangis parah pas adegan itu, sumpah wkwk. Punten kalo yg belum nonton rada spoiler.

Ini gw random di kantor, sebenernya lagi mayan banyak kerjaan, tapi satu kerjaan ada yg nunggu developer beres ngoding dulu baru gw bisa kerja lagi, which is sekarang lagi kosong. Random pengen nulis tentang film sabtu bersama bapak deh jadinya.

Intinya pengen bilang… si Ayu a.k.a Sheila Dara cakep banget ya! wkwk #istighfar Bukan itu. Tapi emang cakep sih #eh. Baru tau doi newcomer dan main di stereo (dari googling). #naha jadi dibahas -_-

Tapi pengen bilang:

“People fall in love in mysterious way”

Kaya lirik lagu ya. Tapi gw cuma ngambil literally sepenggal potong itu aja kok. We in a matter of fact, fall in love with people in mysterious way. Jadi ga hanya sebatas fisik doang. Mungkin itu yg dinamakan inner beauty ya *eaa *lama-lama mual nih gw. Dan tapi menurut gw that “mysterious” thing is reflected from who we are.

Kita jarang sholat, jauh dari islam, Quran di rumah debuan, mana bakal fall in love up for religion. Kaya si cakra kan, sering sholat di musholla, terus ngeliat sepatu hak terus setiap harinya, jadinya fall in love karena sepatu deh. Kalo sering nongski, ke cafe, mall, bioskop, yah ntar ujung-ujungnya malah fall in love in mall-ious way (?).

Jadi inti tulisan ini apa? Apakah bumi itu bulat atau datar ? Nahlo. Silakan simpulkan sendiri *udah ada kerjaan lagi*. Bye[]

 

Inaugural Presentation

The door of the meeting room was finally opened. It had been booked for the next two hours for us to giving presentation to the client of which was -for my case- gonna be the first big client in team which I had been in charge in. I put and set the device in front of the table, checked the software again very thoroughly to make sure nothing’s wrong will happen for the demonstration.

This presentation was completely different to the ones I had done in my entire years while at school or college. At those times, if I failed the presentation I would just got bad score or remark for my final report. But now, If I failed this, the company would probably risk to lost an opportunity of revenue which could reach million of dollars.

There were three people from company’s client that came that day. Two Indonesians, one Indian who in fact that Indian guy is the regional leader of APAC (Asia Pacific) and the other two are Indonesia country leader and Supply Chain manager from their company which means, all of them are the first ring. Nice!

In addition my CEO, vice CEO as well as General Manager of technical division also enlivened the meeting as representatives from our company. Because indeed this meeting was key decision of the business opportunity before we agreed to continue to the NDA (Non Disclosure Agreement). Which is again very nice!

I said in the title as Inaugural since I just deemed it as one. I mean this was truly my first trial to give presentation to the client since the first time I became MNC’s screw of capitalist previous months ago. Nonetheless the one who lead the meeting and presentation was my Boss in BD (Business Development) division, which made me a bit relieve since what I needed to do was just following his guidance.

My boss opened the meeting by firstly introducing the team. The starting was smoothly done and he continued to present the business problems and our solution to solve them. There were many questions and answers and my boss were able to handle it very well. Experience does matter, isn’t it. Then after his presentation was done my part was finally begun: the presentation of POC (Proof of Concept).

I was a bit umm.. I prefer to say it lucky to get this opportunity. My senior Business Analyst who were also in charge in this project were absent through sickness which means I must go for the presentation. My friend as the embedded engineer accompanied me to demo this solutions. It had been long time I never spook English anymore, plus with the “heavy” atmosphere of the company’s executives that sat around me, made my tongue slipped and spook haltingly in the beginning. Moreover suddenly the internet connection had problem in the time I opened the webpage that made me totally nervous and a bit panicked at a glance. But fortunately my boss in fast covered with some talks while I did the fixing in the laptop.

Those moments passed so fast, I tried to inhale and then speak again to continue the presentation. After some talks I was able to speak a bit fluently than before and handle the rest of the presentation so well. My friend also were so good in handling the hardware which beyond our expectation there was no any single errors occurred while we executed the system. FYI, our system honestly produced a bit margin percentage of error while we developed it. But it didn’t happen during the demonstration which produced 100% veracity to beyond immensely satisfy our clients.

They smiled and appraised our team in the end of the demonstration and said

“This is actually what we are looking for!!”

How relieve! Alhamdulillah.

My part was finished then my boss again handled the rest. The clients will bring this solution to their office in Singapore first before move to an NDA. Well it was still on going until know and if the NDA was done we will continue to the development.

I haven’t mentioned in detail what kind of system that we are developing since it is still confidential. But one thing’s for sure, I passionately look forward to finishing this project and I hope I am able to learn and steal as much experience and knowledge as I able to steal from this company. Aamiin. La hawla wala quwwata illa billah![]

Hindsight Fallacy

Randomly I’ve been just reading a new book from my friend with title “The Art of Thinking Clearly” by Rolf Dobelli. It is stated in the cover of the book “99 fallacies in investment, business and personal things.” It is quiet interesting honestly. The first time I read this book directly triggered me a desire to finish it as soon as possible (even though it ended up with sleeping lol. Well come on it’s sunday though haha).

Then, another built habit I usually did, whenever I found an interesting book borrowed either from friend or library, I unwillingly balked to read the other books I was reading in. Since indeed I have bunch of time to finish the books I own which in the opposite way I get to finish the books I borrow in the finite time.

Back to “The Art of Thinking Clearly” book again. Regardless the bad and good review in the goodreads, but I could well-say this book successfully governed me to create this post as soon as I finished chapter fourteen which was about Hindsight bias.

—-

You know, to be honest, I totally hate a person which has a hindsight bias in his/her mind. Hindsight literally is an understanding of a situation or event only after it has happened or developed. Then what is the fallacy of hindsight bias? That when we THINK we are ALWAYS right about something after it has happened.

To simply understand what does it mean. I have a story to explain. A true story when I did traveled abroad with some friends.

At that time -let’s say- there are 5 of us which got lost in a tourist place. The case was we tried to go out from that huge place but we had no idea where the exit was. Then -by depending on remnant memories while we entered the place- we needed to choose either to go straight ahead or go back to the pavement we walked at before. All of us were direction-blind and fully forgot about where the exit door was. One thing we knew for sure that the exit doors existed were more than one.

I tried to lead the way and based on hunch said

“Trust me we should go straight! I am totally sure there will be an exit ahead”

My friend questioned

“Fif please, are you sure? Since this place is hugely big and we will double the walk if there is no exit over there. I think we should go back and exit by using our entering door before”

“No trust me. It will be farther if we go back there”

Then we walked straight and fortunately we found the exit door, BUT it was closed due to repair work. Then my friend shouted

“See! We should go back from the first. Now we triple our walk to exit”

#ENDSTORY

—-

Get the point? Okay I know I made a mistake over there, but that is what hindsight fallacy looks like. If my decision was right, we shortened our walk to exit, but unluckily the exit door were not opened, then we needed to go back and triply walk to the exit. And my friend blamed me for that. But wait how the heck I know the exit was closed.

In Islam itself, we are forbiddingly not allowed to say “What If…” in term of redoing something that has happened in the past. Whatever happened happened. We are not able to create the time machine to fix it.

This book said, try to create a diary before doing something, and count how many times you fail to predict the result. It will be uncountable. Yes everybody makes mistakes and something could happen unpredictably. Don’t try to undermine them to do something in the other way like we always be right of all the time.

We need to move forward in time and try to be wise while facing the mistakes that people made. Decision must be decided in a rapid time and whatever we choose we must have been ready about whatever the risks will come up. Avoid judging from hindsight and be a person who always look forward. Learn from the past does not mean we need to redo it. Get the insight from them and plan brightly what should we do for the future.[]

A Dream of meeting prophet

Umm.. before I write this, for disclaimer while reading, I just want to make sure, never extrapolate anything from this post. Never conclude or draw a conclusion. Never self-interpret moreover in exaggeration way anything even just a single word. Never deem as something special.

Today I was awaken from a sleep. In the morning like usual day. There was no something special happened yesterday. There was no any omen which galvanized me to do a good deed. But I dreamed something adequately indescribable in my sleep last night.

Yap. I dreamed of meeting my prophet, Rosul SAW.

I don’t know either it is right or not, but when I woke up I still remembered a bit of my dream scene. I wrote this just want to perpetuate what I saw in that dream and maybe someday I could ask someone to interpret what is the real meaning of this dream.

And yah, one more, what I will write in here, maybe not exactly same with what I dreamed of last night. Since you know dream is truly same with what is described in Inception movie, or like what you occasionally dream in your sleep, something illogically happened and naturally moves from scene to scenes. Here I try to assemble those puzzle scenes and describes it with the words as thoroughly as possible.

So in my dream last night, there were two -let’s say- factions. Both of them clashed of each others. I was a member of one faction which was against the prophet’s faction. There were kind of war at that time and I was truly confuse why should I fight my prophet?

I asked my leader’s faction about that. I mean he is prophet, Rosul SAW, why should I fight against him. I didn’t exactly remember what was his answer. But what I captured from my faction’s leader answer is just follow his order because indeed I was his faction’s.

I doubted a moment. I knew he was truly my prophet. Then I decided to trail my prophet silently. I still remember -if I’m not mistaken- at that time, the physical shape of his body when I trailed him from behind.

This is actually the crucial one. I just googled about a dream of meeting Rosul, and the hadits said syaitan are not able to imitate him. BUT… he is able to be someone and confess that he is him. Therefore I need to make sure that the characteristic of his physical is without discrepancy between what Hadits say and what I saw in the dream.

From what I remember in my dream, he was like an Arab people. I mean physically like an Arab people as we know: wearing a long Gamis, a turban around his head, and the color of everything he was wearing was grey. He was tall and had a very long beard. I think he was old enough maybe around 40s. But because I trailed him from behind I didn’t see his face.

Then in that dream, he entered a house and there was another person in that house as well. I was still behind him while he opened the door and went inside it. My memory of the dream scene is a bit blur till here.

If I’m not mistaken, I also entered that house and seeing his face opened the door for me while perhaps smiling (not sure). I came inside the house and looked at another person with him in that house though I didn’t remember the face. I sat beside my Rosul and he said something to me, but again I didn’t remember his words. There was kind like conversation between me and Rosul, but I’m not really sure about this since the memory was so blur and I could not memorize the detail of what we were talking about. However I felt conveniently comfortable beside him. I could present his wise, his calm, and his broad of knowledge. I felt in peace.

I don’t know whether this scene that I describe through words right now is precisely same with what I dreamed last night but that is what I really felt till now. I hope it’s right. Aamiin.

And after the conversation was finished, magically without any question anymore I just trusted him. I did believed in him. And I was totally sure that his faction was right. I still felt it until know the feeling. Therefore I coalesced and became a member of his faction. And I fought for him.

Then the dream is over.

I have no memory anymore after that one. I remembered I woke up some minutes before adzan shubuh but I didn’t directly realize what I dreamed just after I woke up. I went to bathroom, did an ablution and looked at the phone the there was still time to do Tahajud. Again I still didn’t realize about what I dreamed last night till this time. After the adzan was sounded I did 2 rakaats Qobliah before going to the mosque to pray Shubuh near my kost.

And finally a moment after the last Salam of shubuh prayer, I just realized that I dreamed about my prophet last night. Then it ends up with this post I am writing right now.

Again, don’t extrapolate anything from this. I am also still not really sure about my dream last night whether it’s right or not. But I hope it’s right that I really met Rosul SAW in dream. Aamiin.

Even though I am totally aware that I am still full of sins right now, still far away from a stable Iman. I still waste many of my time, still miss many of sunnah, even many times I am not khusyu in prayer. Therefore I always hope that Allah never feel bored of me. With many sins of mine I hope he never gives up on me and far away from me. Aamiin. Allahumma Aamiin.[]