Heart theory: stone, cotton and time-discrete

You know a stone? It’s totally hard and firm. That’s what our heart is. And cotton? So soft, fluffy and white. That’s what our heart is as well. In certain discrete time-frame.

I learned new thing again yesterday. My friend randomly invited me to join Islamic Study (Kajian Islam) yesterday at Masjid Al Azhar, not too far from my office in fact. But due to my heart is still in firm condition, I refused his invitation. “C’mon I was so tired after office and it was so lazy to burden my mind again with such thing”, that was my thought at that time.

Flashback in past, there were some moments that I was truly enthusiast to join islamic study, mentoring, or kind like those things, even the place were so far from mine, even my mind was still full of stressful stuffs and even the weather is in super hot and rain condition. “I need to recover my tiring mind out of these perishable things and I’d love to join it”, that was my thought at that time.

See my point?

Well that our heart is. Unstable and full of uncertainties. Therefore

“In term of asking someone to do something, if the time is not right, it’s improbable”

We cannot force someone to do something we want arbitrarily. Well I use a word “Improbable” which means almost never happen (let’s say 90%), not “Impossible” which 100% never happen. In certain condition we could, but it’s extremely rare.

Because heart is something we are not able to touch. Heart is the business between only the creature and its Creator. We cannot interfere with that.

The changes in our heart is likely framed at the discrete-time coordinate. It’s digital and be able to change drastically between one signal to another.

So we cannot guess the heart of someone by looking at the signs, omens or indication in the every time like continuous one has (left graph), but only in some sampling times. Let me try to explain as simple as possible.

  1. Heart of someone x(t) changes through time (t) in the continuous left-graph. Only s/he knows what happen to his/her heart through time, and indeed with his/her Creator.
  2. We see someone’s heart x[n] just in sampling time [n], not in continuous one (t), because we cannot follow his/her activities everyday like a squire. Therefore if we see someone at x[1] = in the morning, then we see him/her again at x[2] = in the night, and he/she changes drastically, it’s normal, because its just sampling time at n=1 and n=2. Those in between x[1] and x[2] which is in the afternoon, we aren’t able to know.

Okay, I wish you got my point, lol. And anyway it’s just what so-called match-ology, don’t take it so serious. The simple conclusion of that above complicated theory is

“Heart is a business between people and the Creator, and it is possible to change unpredictably through time, like sometimes it could be hard like a stone or soft like a cotton”

But what are the applications of this random heart-hypothetical-theory? Let’s see:

Relationship within family

All family members must understand this theory so that each of them will understand one to another.

For example a husband who found his wife changes suddenly after he came back from the office, then it’s normal. Don’t be so shock. Because heart is able to change even for no reason.Therefore the husband has to realize he has to be more patient than before and wait for the right time to talk. And it’s vice versa for the wife too.

The parents also have to realize the children’s heart are able to change unpredictably as well. Therefore it needs more understanding and patient to face them. Sometimes strict action is needed, otherwise smooth action might be the best one. Well there is no formula and exact theory related to this, you have to learn directly and with the hindsight.

Time spending within family

Discrete time signal is able to become similar to continuous one by using as many as samples [n] possible or if the sampling time is near to infinite.

Therefore in order to know someone’s heart more accurately, we have to spend as much time as possible with him/her, or in this case with our family. Especially for the parents to their children, time is the most precious thing they can give more than anything at all.


Like things I mentioned before in the second and third paragraph, heart or in this case iman is up and down through time. We as a d’ai (someone who do da’wah, or someone who ask people for good things) must also know this theory that the heart is always changing.

For example today we ask our friend to do prayer at Masjid and he refused, that means at that time his heart is still in stone phase. What we have to do is don’t get bored to ask them, but also not in rapid repetition. Wait for the time, and ask him again slowly. There should be a time his heart becomes like a cotton and he will join us to go to the mosque. Those are also valid for such asking to join ta’lim, fasting, mentoring, etc.

Soulmate Hunting

And last but not least, maybe the foremost one, this theory is also applicable for soulmate hunting. Lol.

The heart of a man or woman is able to change. Therefore there was a proverb that never give up before get rejected 21 times. Okay it’s a bit exaggerated. The point is according to the theory, the heart of someone is able to change through time and we’re not able to guess it.

Always count the variables change. In this case the variable heart and time is not our authority to control. We need an exact right time and an exact right heart in the corresponding exact moment, and He is the only one who knows it.

Therefore the main thing in soulmate hunting, is we always ask for the Owner of the Heart to give us the best soulmate in the future.


Heart is complex. Never ever try to play with it. It’s also totally fragile. We have to be careful with our heart and other people’s. Hidayah is also the only authority of Allah, we impossibly interfere with that. But we have a chance to be a bridge to give it to the other people.

Be patient and always think from the other people’s shoes. Never presume that they are in the same condition with us. Because by respecting one to another is the only way we could live in harmony.[]


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