I truly in vacillation situation now, it hesitates me, that I’m happy or sad, even disappointed, I don’t know at all. But what are you for be here WordPress. I really want to give utterance of my feelings to you, just wanna convince myself that I’m not broken now. So WordPress, permit me, myself, phrases all of my feeling now to you, to comfort my heart and my mind.
First WordPress, you know, there was a very remarkable, mournful, and inscrutable moment happened tonight between me and a girl, very witty girl :D. But, I’m so sorry WordPress, I can’t tell you what is that. That was a very secretly unforgettable moment in my life, and I can’t share in here. Just let be mine and hers. However, let we forget about the moment. It will be better if we just talk about what I was feeling when the moment was happening and after.
At that night, I was really confused because the damn feeling that I was feeling in to her. I was not so sure:
Is this like other people said as LOVE ? –(:#$7*0@%$P<3)–
C’mon WordPress, don’t be so shock like that. I’m a male teenager, so it’s still normal if I feel l*ve. :P You know WordPress, I was deadly feel disturbed because this d*mn feeling to her. If I just let it flow without any movement, it would just torture myself by my own. I couldn’t concentrate when I started to study, I couldn’t do something normal cause she always obsessed inside of my mind. Really WordPress, if now I have DEATHNOTE, I will directly write her name in that book no doubt anymore. -,-!! I really want to kill her, (if I can) in order this d*mn feeling loses away from my mind. You know WordPress what I had already done that night to her. You really wanna know. Really?
Once again I really sorry WordPress, I can’t tell you what happened between me and her. I can’t tell you, what I have already done to make this d*mn feeling loses away and be very far away for my life. Like I said before let this moment be my reminiscence and unforgettable moment between I and her. Let be mine and hers. :D
But then WordPress, don’t worry because you aren’t satisfied with my story. Caused the second that I very want to share with you is:
Now I don’t feel the d*mn feeling like people said as LOVE anymore at all. I don’t LOVE her anymore like I did yesterday. It’s lost from my life NOW. Although I can’t forget her full, let the time will delete the rest.
I’m now just a SINGLE boy who still wants to find the meaning of life. And even, the one that very convinces me is, in ISLAM, my religion, there is no named “steady” or “pacaran” in its. So I’ll keep my faith as could as I can, I’ll be far away from that word.
Let God leads me to find my best pathway of life to reach happiness in this provisional world and hereafter
Now WordPress, what I have to do now is, reconstruct my mindset, what I am now, and what I will be tomorrow, without turn my face back to see past :D. I tell this to you WordPress without any conceited or other bad meaning but just solely to make myself relieved without any remorse at all. And I hope, I and other people who in seeking the best future, can understand the meaning of life is that. We can’t throw away the word “love” from “life”. But it just, how we control it in order that not plunged into misery or falling to deviate way.
I still can live without any girlfriend. I still can reach what I dream for my future. I can still do normal even better than if I have girlfriend. I can still think freshly without any annoyance feeling. And I can still BE PEOPLE without girlfriend. Since I still don’t know my destiny future, I don’t now when my destined hour is, I don’t know what I will be tomorrow. The only one that I can do is STRUGGLE and PRAY, ask to GOD to give me the best way in the world and hereafter. Because WordPress, if you wanna know:
The only one who can changes your life, is yourself.
The only one who can chooses what do you gonna be, is yourself
The only one who can decides how will your life next, is yourself
At the end WordPress, I very relieved, I can tell to you what my feeling now. From now I can do my activities in my life more tranquilly. So I decide and carve in my deepest heart:
NO LOVE ANYMORE, AT LEAST TILL I GOT MY DREAM UNIVERSITY— *
—JUST I AM WHO CAN DECIDES HOW MY LIFE WILL BE—
*I erase this, caused I’m still confused and doubt with the word LOVE itself, huuh, God please shows me the best through my life :D